Forever a Daddy's Girl

Last night after we prayed and read together, Natalie in her whiny voice, said "Daddy, when I grow up and get married and become a princess, I want to live next to you." I told her I would love that (guess I should've asked Julie 1st before comitting - wonder what her future husband will think of that idea too :)). Then she started crying and said, but Daddy somebody already lives next to us, so how can I live there?

She also wanted to make sure that I was actually a king, so that she can be a real princess. Times like that make you hope they never grow up and move away (again, I better check with Julie on that thought too :)

Love Languages - part 2

Does our "Love Language" (LL) change over time, or during certain seasons of life? I think there are times when our primary LL may be overcome by a secondary or different LL, as might be the case during a time of loneliness, loss, etc when we need something else. But I guess maybe my question may be more related to age and possibly life stage.

As I was thinking about my kids, I recognize that Noah (7) is definitely a "Receiving Gifts" kind of guy. He cannot stand certain types of physical touch, ie a hug or kiss, no matter who its from. He's always been like that too. I wonder if he will outgrow that once he learns that girls don't have cooties, and if his LL may change as he grows up?

Natalie (4) is a little more difficult to assess, as she likes just about everything & everybody. But I think that one of the things she likes most is "Quality Time". She loves nothing more than to have me come and play puppy dogs with her or read her a book or just sit and watch Dora the Explorer with her. She also love to give hugs and kisses, and I can never get out to the car in the morning without her running into the garage frantically screaming "Wait daddy, 1 more hug, 1 more hug!"

So I guess I have to wonder what my LL was as a child, and if, as I grow into my older years (much, much older, mind you), if I will grow out of "physical touch" LL? Maybe Julie will grow out of "Do the Dishes" LL too??

Maybe the best thing we can do is COMMUNICATE with and SUBMIT to each other. Instead of guessing (and probably getting it wrong) we should ask each other how we can meet one another's needs the best and tell the other person what we would love for them to do - and then comes the hard part - actually doing what we know we should do to show love for the other, even when we don't feel like it... Guess I better go get started on the dishes before Julie gets home :)

Philippians 2

(Imitating Christ's Love & Humility)

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Love Languages - part 1

I recently helped with a marriage seminar at church. It was very refreshing and instructive to dive into my & Julie's love languages and really think about how I can improve in communication with her and be a better husband and father.

It was interesting for me to notice again how often we expect others to act in love according to OUR own love language, and when they don't it is easy for us to get upset at them for not doing what meets our needs (ie, we're selfish). Conversely, we often act toward our spouse or others in OUR love language instead of their's, thinking that we are meeting their needs when in fact we're not. Someone at the seminar shared that their spouse of over 20 years always bought her this huge bouquet of flowers every year and it never met her needs as she thought it was a waste of money and would have much rather had the $50+ to spend in a different way, and that her love language is acts of service, NOT gift giving.

Julie commented to someone recently that the seminar must have been really good because I put the new roll of toilet paper on the holder for the 1st time in years - who knew that toilet paper replacing was Julie's Love Language! It's all about communication. Yes, Julie is Acts of Service and I admittedly struggle with doing the dishes and laundry and can never understand why a kiss and hug etc don't get me any brownie points. Maybe God grows us in true love by putting us with people that will stretch us to meet their needs :) Be sure to check back soon to read Part 2 - God's "Love Language". I'm still percolating on this one and have to pull my thoughts together.

Anyway, this past week I was thinking about love languages and living out what I was reading in Ephesians 5 - (You should really click here and read this), one of the classic passages on the Christian marriage and roles of husbands and wives -(Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord; Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her). I had always read this ending part of chpt 5 as a separate section - It dawned on me that it seems more of a flowing narrative tying in vs 1-5 and the following 20 verses.

There it is - until we start to be "imitators of God and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice, pleasing to God." v 1-4 and until we are "filled with the Spirit" and "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" v 18, 21, then we will have a very hard time meeting the needs of others in love for them. We will have a hard time giving up our own selfish desires (ie love me the way I want to be love and let me love you the way I want to not the way that meets YOUR needs). Submit 1st to Christ, and then we will be able to truly walk in love, as Christ loved us (surely not to the extent or perfection of His love, but better than we are now), and be able to submit to others loving them.

By the way, here's the 5 Love Languages, from the book by Gary Chapman as well as a ton of great info.

Better Days

This week was a tough one. I spent Monday afternoon at the hospital & home of a family who lost their 25 year old daughter/sister, the same family who just in January also tragically lost their husband & father. I realized as I sat and cried and hugged and prayed with the family that I had absolutely nothing to offer them - no words or thoughts that could help them with what they were going through. Only God can bring comfort at a time like this. It was just a time to grieve and mourn with them.

Stephanie was a wonderful, caring, loving person. She was a school-teacher who planning to go to Africa later this year to be a dorm mom at a missionary school. She loved her family, loved God, and loved her church. We are all filled with grief over her sudden loss.

I was completely exhausted emotionally and in no way wanted to go to work on Tuesday. I was reminded of what I read Monday morning -
2 Cor 12:9-10

9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

As I sit here on Good Friday thinking of Christ's sacrificial death for my sins on the cross, I am reminded that better days are ahead for those who know and love Him.

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