Love Languages - part 1

I recently helped with a marriage seminar at church. It was very refreshing and instructive to dive into my & Julie's love languages and really think about how I can improve in communication with her and be a better husband and father.

It was interesting for me to notice again how often we expect others to act in love according to OUR own love language, and when they don't it is easy for us to get upset at them for not doing what meets our needs (ie, we're selfish). Conversely, we often act toward our spouse or others in OUR love language instead of their's, thinking that we are meeting their needs when in fact we're not. Someone at the seminar shared that their spouse of over 20 years always bought her this huge bouquet of flowers every year and it never met her needs as she thought it was a waste of money and would have much rather had the $50+ to spend in a different way, and that her love language is acts of service, NOT gift giving.

Julie commented to someone recently that the seminar must have been really good because I put the new roll of toilet paper on the holder for the 1st time in years - who knew that toilet paper replacing was Julie's Love Language! It's all about communication. Yes, Julie is Acts of Service and I admittedly struggle with doing the dishes and laundry and can never understand why a kiss and hug etc don't get me any brownie points. Maybe God grows us in true love by putting us with people that will stretch us to meet their needs :) Be sure to check back soon to read Part 2 - God's "Love Language". I'm still percolating on this one and have to pull my thoughts together.

Anyway, this past week I was thinking about love languages and living out what I was reading in Ephesians 5 - (You should really click here and read this), one of the classic passages on the Christian marriage and roles of husbands and wives -(Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord; Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her). I had always read this ending part of chpt 5 as a separate section - It dawned on me that it seems more of a flowing narrative tying in vs 1-5 and the following 20 verses.

There it is - until we start to be "imitators of God and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice, pleasing to God." v 1-4 and until we are "filled with the Spirit" and "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" v 18, 21, then we will have a very hard time meeting the needs of others in love for them. We will have a hard time giving up our own selfish desires (ie love me the way I want to be love and let me love you the way I want to not the way that meets YOUR needs). Submit 1st to Christ, and then we will be able to truly walk in love, as Christ loved us (surely not to the extent or perfection of His love, but better than we are now), and be able to submit to others loving them.

By the way, here's the 5 Love Languages, from the book by Gary Chapman as well as a ton of great info.